Thursday, April 25, 2013

V is for Vacant/Void


There is a hollow inside of me, a sort of emptiness that defies explanation. I must have been happy at one time, I’ve seen pictures where I’m smiling and laughing, but even those could’ve been a lie. I still smile, laugh even.  Every once in a while I’ll catch someone watching me, someone who recognizes the contrivance of it all, and I’ll just shrug, really not caring that I was caught. Because that’s the truth of it; I don’t care. There is a vacancy where my heart used to be. I don’t know where it went; there was no one big thing that broke it, only a series of small fractures that eventually left me what I am today;  an emotionless void. So if you see me, in picture or in person, and I’m smiling or laughing, just pretend like you believe me. It’ll make it easier on both of us.  

 

*Before I get worried comments about my mental health, I just want to add that this is a work of fiction. I am a psychiatric nurse and I was just describing what I see in some people’s eyes both at work and out.

30 comments:

  1. That is so sad when the spirit has left someone like that.

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  2. It's sad that people do feel this way and there's nothing anyone can do to help. It's up to the individual.

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  3. Great little snippet of character. Sad to think so many people feel this way.

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  4. It's sad to see someone smiling when that smile doesn't lit their eyes.

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  5. Sadly so many people feel this way. Life does hand us many obstacles to overcome, but unfortunately they leave us broken and void of heart and soul.

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  6. Apology accepted, but people who have known me for years know what I write is true,
    Daniel came into my life after the loss of my mother and husband within 2 months years ago, I found his concerts got me out and about. Then I found the confidence to fly and started going abroad,that's why I have so many memories........but I too have memories that stay to the back of my mind.

    Best wishes.
    Yvonne.

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  7. I enjoyed this well-written glimpse into a character's mind. Nice job!

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  8. I'm glad you prefaced it with the little warning that it's a work of fiction; you have really garnered some insight working with those patients. My mom also worked as an RN in this capacity at an in-patient treatment center. What you've created, is so true.

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  9. Although it's quite short, it's a very insightful piece of how someone suffering from depression may feel.

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  10. Well, I'm relieved that you're alright. Best wishes to your patients.

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  11. Great job of painting scenes (I read a few back, too) with just a few words.
    Rebecca

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  12. I am glad you added the disclaimer. This was so sad. Beautifully written.

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  13. Wow, that is powerful and I think your exp as a nurse gives you a unique window

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  14. Great story! But I can see how some might get concerned.

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  15. Wow, I think you really captured it beautifully.

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  16. It's heartbreaking to think some people feel this way and that life can do that to them. Great job on your piece.

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  17. You show a depth of understanding that most of us probably never achieve.

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  18. Great job. I know you're doing short fiction, but it seems very personal. It shows your a great observer of people.

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  19. There are too many empty people walking around these days. It must be heartbreaking to not be able to help them all. (I do think it was a good idea to include the disclaimer!)

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  20. It's unfortunate that some people are suffering this way. I think you painted a very vivid picture.

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  21. I was happy to see the fiction footnote, but wow, it was realistic. What a nice piece.

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  22. Thanks for the disclaimer. Besides the sadness, it's hard for us "fix-it" types when our inner handyman is denied and we can do nothing for a hurting person but listen.

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  23. I'm glad you added the explanation. The post was so evocative I was genuinely concerned up until that point, and then relieved.

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  24. So sad. :(

    Glad it's just fiction for you.

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  25. I was a bit relieved to find that piece was fiction. It rang so true and made my heart sad. Nice writing.

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  26. Another great piece if writing. You do it so well that people think you actually are the picture you paint, it seems!

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  27. Sad, yet powerful and deep at the same time... a reality for lots of people...

    Writer In Transit

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  28. So glad this was fictional, but it does feel real!

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