There is a hollow inside of me, a sort of
emptiness that defies explanation. I must have been happy at one time, I’ve
seen pictures where I’m smiling and laughing, but even those could’ve been a
lie. I still smile, laugh even. Every
once in a while I’ll catch someone watching me, someone who recognizes the
contrivance of it all, and I’ll just shrug, really not caring that I was
caught. Because that’s the truth of it; I don’t care. There is a vacancy where
my heart used to be. I don’t know where it went; there was no one big thing
that broke it, only a series of small fractures that eventually left me what I
am today; an emotionless void. So if you
see me, in picture or in person, and I’m smiling or laughing, just pretend like
you believe me. It’ll make it easier on both of us.
*Before I get worried comments about my mental
health, I just want to add that this is a work of fiction. I am a psychiatric
nurse and I was just describing what I see in some people’s eyes both at work
and out.
That is so sad when the spirit has left someone like that.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that people do feel this way and there's nothing anyone can do to help. It's up to the individual.
ReplyDeleteGreat little snippet of character. Sad to think so many people feel this way.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad to see someone smiling when that smile doesn't lit their eyes.
ReplyDeleteSadly so many people feel this way. Life does hand us many obstacles to overcome, but unfortunately they leave us broken and void of heart and soul.
ReplyDeleteApology accepted, but people who have known me for years know what I write is true,
ReplyDeleteDaniel came into my life after the loss of my mother and husband within 2 months years ago, I found his concerts got me out and about. Then I found the confidence to fly and started going abroad,that's why I have so many memories........but I too have memories that stay to the back of my mind.
Best wishes.
Yvonne.
I enjoyed this well-written glimpse into a character's mind. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you prefaced it with the little warning that it's a work of fiction; you have really garnered some insight working with those patients. My mom also worked as an RN in this capacity at an in-patient treatment center. What you've created, is so true.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it's quite short, it's a very insightful piece of how someone suffering from depression may feel.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm relieved that you're alright. Best wishes to your patients.
ReplyDeleteGreat job of painting scenes (I read a few back, too) with just a few words.
ReplyDeleteRebecca
I am glad you added the disclaimer. This was so sad. Beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is powerful and I think your exp as a nurse gives you a unique window
ReplyDeleteGreat story! But I can see how some might get concerned.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad and touching piece!
ReplyDeleteWow, I think you really captured it beautifully.
ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking to think some people feel this way and that life can do that to them. Great job on your piece.
ReplyDeleteYou show a depth of understanding that most of us probably never achieve.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I know you're doing short fiction, but it seems very personal. It shows your a great observer of people.
ReplyDeleteThere are too many empty people walking around these days. It must be heartbreaking to not be able to help them all. (I do think it was a good idea to include the disclaimer!)
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that some people are suffering this way. I think you painted a very vivid picture.
ReplyDeleteI was happy to see the fiction footnote, but wow, it was realistic. What a nice piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the disclaimer. Besides the sadness, it's hard for us "fix-it" types when our inner handyman is denied and we can do nothing for a hurting person but listen.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you added the explanation. The post was so evocative I was genuinely concerned up until that point, and then relieved.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. :(
ReplyDeleteGlad it's just fiction for you.
I was a bit relieved to find that piece was fiction. It rang so true and made my heart sad. Nice writing.
ReplyDeleteAnother great piece if writing. You do it so well that people think you actually are the picture you paint, it seems!
ReplyDeleteI've seen that look too...
ReplyDeleteSad, yet powerful and deep at the same time... a reality for lots of people...
ReplyDeleteWriter In Transit
So glad this was fictional, but it does feel real!
ReplyDelete