“Do you love me?”
I choked on the swallow of pop I’d just
taken and looked down at her. She was eyeing me expectantly.
“Well?” she asked, not impressed with my
attempts to not spray Pepsi all over her.
I coughed, trying to clear my lungs out.
“Sorry…,” I muttered. “What were you saying?”
“I
asked if you loved me,” she repeated, obviously losing patience with me.
I closed my eyes and pictured her face,
the one before the accident, and sighed. “Of course I do.”
When I opened my eyes again she was
watching me warily, but there must’ve been enough desire still left in them to
convince her.
She smiled and reached for my hand and I
did my best not to shudder.
Oooooo your storys are so gripping I want to know the rest!!! :D great post cant wait for tommorow's
ReplyDeleteThank you! I can't wait to see you back tomorrow!
DeleteNice. I don't know what happened before but just from this little excerpt, it sounds like a fantastic story.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my shorts that is actually based on a true story. The narrator was the cause of the accident that left the girl forever scarred. He'd just broken up with her and was driving her home when it happened. Now, because of the guilt, he stays with her. But they both know that's why it is. It's actually very sad for both of them.
DeleteI LURVE that last line :)
ReplyDeleteDamyanti @Daily(w)rite
Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
Yeh, it kind of gets to the heart of it.
DeleteI have had friends like that... :-/ Happy D day!
ReplyDeletetm
Me, too.
DeleteVerrrry interesting...hmmmm...
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteI hope the girl comes to her senses soon about this guy!
ReplyDeleteShe knows. There both just kind of stuck.
DeleteGood flash fiction.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cynthia. Talk about an unsympathetic narrator LOL
ReplyDelete~ Rhonda Parrish
Sadly, this was based on a true story.
DeleteOh, this makes me wonder what happened to her!
ReplyDeleteThis was a true story, so I can tell you: they're both still together and both still miserable.
Deleteoh dear :(
ReplyDeleteauntyamo
http://ficticiousamo.wordpress.com/
:( dido.
DeleteI wish that more men would go beyond beauty when they choose the ones they love. Sorry to take this personal, but beauties like Gabby Giffords and so many others can't help it ... accidents happen!
ReplyDeleteChontali Kirk
chontalikirk.blogspot.com
You're right. You either love someone or you don't. It shouldn't be based on appearances.
DeleteDang...been there done that!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great flash fiction (I can never write anything so short). There's a lot going on between those two.
ReplyDeleteOff topic, I was excited when used the word "pop" when talking about Pepsi. Where I live now everyone either looks at me crazy or laughs when I talk about pop.
I almost called it soda, but I decided to be true to my roots!
DeleteThis is a great piece, lady. Way to go. I am enjoying all the A to Z entries this year, though I'm not doing it myself. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first year I wrote my pieces a head of time and I'm so glad I did. It gives me more time to visit other blogs.
DeleteAwww that's so sad. Great story.
ReplyDeleteKC @ The Occasional Adventures of a Hermit & Oh Frog It
Thank you, I liked yours, too.
Deletegood job. You can definitely sense an underlying tension there.
ReplyDeleteAw, this one's so sad. :( For both of them, really.
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
You're right. I don't know which one is worse off.
DeleteNo doubt the narrator will have his or her comeuppance, eat crow, and be less superficial. I can only hope.
ReplyDeleteTake 25 to Hollister
Don't be a Hippie
One can only hope.
DeleteOh dear, that doesn't sound too good!
ReplyDeleteKeep Calm and A-Z
An A-Z of learning English
Round the world from A to Z
Thanks for stopping by, I just visited your site, now I'm in the mood for a salad.
Delete