Monday, April 29, 2013

Y is for Yelling Silently



“I can’t do this anymore,” he said, looking out his window, like he wished he was out there, already done with this, done with me.

“Do what?” I whispered, drawing it out.   

He glanced back towards me. I lowered my eyes so he wouldn’t see the knowledge there. But he knew me well enough by then; he waited me out, waited for me to lift my eyes. Eventually I did.

“I can’t pretend I love you anymore.”

The words hung in the air as he waited for me to acknowledge them.

I nodded.

I didn’t know it would be so hard hearing it spoken out loud. I mean he’d been saying it for weeks, but not out loud.  

I nodded again and looked out my own window. His passenger door opened and then closed as he went out to where he’d rather be.  

 

24 comments:

  1. Heartbreak and out of love, so sad, yet so many beautiful writings and songs are about love undone.

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  2. Wonderful write yet sad.

    Yvonne.

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  3. That was tragic, all the more so for being understated. Beautiful writing.

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  4. Ouch. What a painful breakup moment. Again, I'm just amazed by how much you convey in so few words.

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  5. Wow. Powerful stuff. You're such a talented writer, Melanie!

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  6. Wonderfully written! You've done a great job conveying her heartbreak.

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  7. Sounds emotional! It must be hard to say and hear can't pretend to love you anymore
    Brandi @ Blkosiner’s Book Blog

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  8. Oh this is so sad.
    Very well written.

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  9. Apathy can be the cruelest thing we can do in some circumstances. It strikes as downright vile from abroad.

    John at The Bathroom Monologues

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  10. Great writing Mel- you really know how to pack quite a punch with just a few words.

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  11. Ouch. Somewhere in America, this scene is actually playing out.

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  12. I like how you layered in a sense that it was happening to someone else until the character hears the words.

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  13. This is a real anything can happen next scene. Great stuff, it's got my mind working overtime!

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  14. You have some powerful writing skills, Melanie.

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  15. You say it so well in such few words. This is snippet is so like life.

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  16. I can’t pretend I love you anymore
    Reading that felt like a slap to the face!

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