“Is
this seat taken?” I say to the fat ass overflowing into the isle. She looks up
and smiles at me like she thinks she stands a chance.
“Oh,
no…it’s all yours,” she gushes as I squeeze past her, doing my best not to make
contact with her folds. Frickin’ gross.
“Going
to work?” she asks, like we’re suddenly BFFs
I
let out a breath, hoping she’ll get the point, but I can still feel her bug
eyes on me.
“What
time is it?” I ask, with a surprising amount of patience.
She
scrambles to look at her watch. “A little after eight.”
“And
what do people like me do at a little after eight on a Friday?”
She
says nothing, just shakes her head stupidly.
“They
go to work. They help move society forward. They contribute something. Now I
know this may be hard for you to understand, but let me break it down for you:
Me have job. Me have life.”
“I
was just trying to be nice,” she whispers as she squeezes her eyes shut.
Is she frickin’ crying? I don’t have time for
this.
“Nice
is for losers and fat people. I don’t have to be nice. And I don’t have to
waste my time listening to you, so shut your pie hole and let me have a few
minutes of peace before I have spend the next eight hours kissing Mr. Stanbuck’s
ass.”
The
woman’s eyes pop open. “Stan Stanbuck?”
“Yeah.
What about him?”
She
smiles. “He’s my son. I’m just on my way to see him now.”
Another great post which is most enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteOpen mouth, insert foot.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Been there. Done that.
DeleteHaha! What a jerk. I kind of saw it coming towards the end, but thought it would be the husband.
ReplyDeleteIt almost was, but I figured picking on a mother is more tactless.
DeleteOh sweet karma. Love it!
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteGreat post,Melanie. Sadly, there are way to many people in the world like this nimrod. Part of me hopes the son makes this guy's life hell, but then how would that change him for the better? :)
ReplyDeleteHopefully he isn't beyond being teachable.
DeleteOaft, karma much? A lesson to all future grumps!
ReplyDeleteIt takes so little to be nice, to be kind. Sweet revenge.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. And so little to screw ourselves, too.
DeleteHa! Busted! Great twist.
ReplyDeletethank you.
DeleteHaha! Loved the twist!
ReplyDeleteBe careful of the words you say; keep them short and sweet. You never know from time to time which ones you'll have to eat!
ReplyDeleteI hope people reading take the right message from your little anecdote!
Thanks for visiting my M is for Mansfield Park post - I shouldn't make it sound so terrible, really. If it's the only one you haven't read, please do take some time to get through it! Do you have a favorite Austen novel?
Cheers from Brandy at brandysbustlings.blogspot.ca
I have learned this the hard way, unfortunately. And thanks for visiting my site. My favorite Austen? That's hard, but I'd have to say Pride and Prejudice. I have a not so secret bookish crush on Mr. Darcy.
DeleteKarma, baby!
ReplyDeleteLots of nimrods walking this Earth, unfortunately.
So true.
DeleteLOL...love that. He got, or is -going to get-, what's coming to him!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be a fly on the wall...
DeleteLol!!!! I loved the ending. :)
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteGreat story. Nimrod got what he deserved.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Ain't karma a bitch. lolol I never saw that end coming. Nice job :-)
ReplyDeletethank you.
DeleteHehHehHeh! Great twist, and I do love twists at the end. Good work!
ReplyDeleteMe too, and thanks.
DeleteHoly NImrod, batman! Great story, lovely twisted ending! *clapping*
ReplyDeleteI was horrified at the rudeness and then you made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYes, I made her so delightfully nasty that her downfall was a lovely thing to watch.
DeleteExcellent, and thank you. I'm a large woman, and this is a great story. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's always good when rude people get theirs, isn't it?
DeleteLove the twist ending
ReplyDeletethank you.
DeleteOh, I like how he gets it at the end- he so had it coming to him. And for his information, nice people can be skinny, and they can be winners too!
ReplyDeleteYou tell him!
DeleteServes him right. I haven't heard 'nimrod' in ages. Yay for bringing it back!
ReplyDeleteSome people just deserve that name.
DeleteGreat post! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I have nominated you for the Liebster blog award. Check out my blog (and the one who nominated me) for the rules if you decide to do it. :)
thank you, and thanks for the nomination.
DeleteYES! That was awesome. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elise.
DeleteOh! Burned!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I spent the first 140ish angry and then I smiled.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteHahahahaha. Loved it!
ReplyDeletethank you.
DeleteThat's what she gets!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Hope the mean girl learns something!
ReplyDeletedoubtful, but we can always hope.
DeleteJust two words come to mind - poetic justice!
ReplyDeletePerfect choice of words.
DeleteLove that twist ending. I teach my kids to chose their words wisely and this is the reason why.
ReplyDeleteSo true. And it's no fun to find out the hard way.
Deletehahahahaha!! There is justice in the world! ;)
ReplyDeleteYay! I hope he fires that douche!
ReplyDeleteAnd waita make me hate a character within just a few sentences! Well done!