Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I is for Ice Queen



“Sara? Is that you?”
     I glanced up automatically before my brain registered who it was. I quickly looked back down, but it was too late. She'd seen me.      
     “I thought that was you,” she said pleasantly, closer now. It was impossible to pretend she wasn’t there.
     I looked up, meeting her eyes.  “Nadia.”
     Her smile was just what I expected it to be; as full as Angelina Jolie’s lips and just as fake. 
    “I was looking for you last night at Mark’s house, but I didn’t see you there,” she said, her mouth turned down into a frown.   
     My face enflamed. “I…I was out shopping with my sister last night.” I hated that I stuttered. 
     “That’s not why you weren’t there,” she said knowingly, with that sticky sweet smile back on her face. “You weren’t there because you weren’t invited. I think you were about the only one.”
     That smile stayed on her face as she turned and walked away, only that time it was real.

 

 

41 comments:

  1. Simply brilliant. Not more not less. You a talented. Thank you.

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  2. "Ice Queen" - love the song by Within Temptation :)

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    1. I haven't heard that one; looks like I need to make another trip to the istore.

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  3. This is so apt, and so brilliant in its brevity.

    Look forward to the rest of your challenge posts!
    Damyanti @Daily(w)rite
    Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge
    AZ blogs on Social Media

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    1. Thank you, look forward to having you back.

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  4. 'Ice Queens' are my favorite to write. I love the conflict they create just by being. In stories, anyway.

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  5. Huh. Not the kind of 'ice queen' I'd expected. Almost the desire for warmth?

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  6. Nice scene! I love "as full as Angelina Jolie’s lips and just as fake." That's great! :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yours seems like a lot of fun. Following! ☺

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  7. Awesome challenge, to write 26 short stories with a 150-word limit! What a great idea.

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    1. It's been more fun than I would've thought.

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  8. Oh my God. I know so many girls like this. You got this dead on!! Great job. Love this.

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  9. Booo!! Hisssss!!!! (throws popcorn)

    What a witch!

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    1. The sad thing? This is entirely true. And it was with four year olds.

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  10. My what a challenge? I wish you all the good luck.

    Thank you for calling by my blog , much appreciated,

    Yvonne.

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  11. Don't you just want to smack people like that?

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  12. I wish I could punch such people on their nose.

    Nice work. :)

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  13. I wish there weren't people like that in the world! Awesome characterisation though, in such a short space. :)

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  14. I loved the way you described her fake smile. There's a lot of intensity in this scene, and I felt the sting at the end.

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  15. It would've been so cool if the narrator would just tell the ice queen what she thought of her. I would like you to do a sequel scene where we see the ice queen melt!

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    1. ohh..good idea. I'll have to think of something like that for M, maybe.

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  16. You are doing a fantastic job writing short stories under 150 words. I really enjoyed Ice Queen. Great emotion.

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    1. Thank you. I have to admit, some of them are a smidge over 150 though. I guess when it comes to adjectives I just can't let some of them go.

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  17. I so badly want to type who that is but it will be found and I will be in trouble. I didn't know you had met my ..... She never mentioned it.

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  18. I am coming across lots of great short story writers. I am inspired! This story has high school written all over it, and unfortunately adulthood, too. Nice character development!

    Check out my A to Z! Jen Hemming and Hawing Again

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    1. Actually, sadly, this scene took place in a preschool classroom.

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  19. aw! so mean!!! Great snippet you captured there.

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  20. Urgg - I really hate the mean girls. Really well written. Thanks.

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    Visiting from AtoZ #41

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  21. Cruel, cruel woman. I'd run like crazy if I saw a Nadia coming up the street.

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