Wednesday, April 24, 2013

U is for Utilitarian


Jan Smith is a useful sort of person. She reproduced exactly 2.8 children, after marrying her husband at twenty-eight years of age. She attended a college and received a bachelor’s degree in liberal arts, which enabled her to gain meaningful employment until she met and married said husband. At which time she continued to work, ensuring that her family remained in an elevated tax bracket. Her yard, her home, and her person remain perfectly manicured at all times, keeping up with the latest styles and seasons. She takes note of advertisements sent her way, and spends her dollars as such. She pays her taxes on time and with a smile. She keeps herself fit, so as not to be a drain on her children and the health system while she ages. She will wait until she is seventy years of age to cease working and will not even have the chance to cash her first social security check before she obediently dies two weeks later, making sure to have spent minimal amount of time in the hospital in the days before her death. Jan Smith is an ideal citizen.



For those of you who don’t know, my debut novel, The Newstead Project, is being released on May 1, 2013. If any of you would like to review it for your blog, please email me at Melanie@melanieschulz.com

50 comments:

  1. Another great short read,

    Yvonne.

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  2. I've missed a few of your posts but I have read them and I believe I am caught up. Loving these posts. These would make a great book of shorts.

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    1. Thank you. I'm kind of (over) involved in the trilogy right now, but I might just make a little ebook of these. Some of them need a little more than 150 words, though.

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  3. Hahaha. Quite a lady. How kind of her to die right after she retires and only spend a day or two in hospital. Geez. Talk about the model Republican!

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  4. A fine, even hypothetical member of the populace. Pleasant to be around so long as she exists.

    John at The Bathroom Monologues

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    1. She does help add to the GDP without bringing unnecessary burdens on society.

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  5. Did she win or did she lose in the game of life? Depends on your view of things I suppose.

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    1. You're right. In my opinion, her life sounds pretty empty.

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  6. Another great read. She is very utilitarian. Quite so.

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  7. She is a very structured lady! There is no way I could be so cut and dried, lol!

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  8. Melanie, you are pulling my leg. 2.8 children? Err is that US demographic data say on birth rate ;)

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  9. This reads like the perfect short story. I love your voice! :)

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  10. Ha! That's what I call "vanilla" or shall I say, mediocrity at it's best.

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  12. Is that 2.8 or 28 children? Because 28 would scare me!

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    1. 2.8. Yes 28 would be doing way more than her fair share, wouldn't it?

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  13. That is so scary, so 1984. Shivers.

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    1. Actually I was going for The Stepford Wives, but you're right, it is rather 1984ish isn't it?

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  14. Replies
    1. If only the rest of us would learn from her example. (shudder)

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  15. Wow, ideal seems so sad... At least I got a sense of sadness from your scene. She did what she was supposed to at all times. But was that what she wanted?

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  16. Whose definition of "ideal", though? hmmmm....

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  17. That sucks. And somewhere else, there's a person who's smoke three packs a day, eats McDonalds, and watches TV all day, and lives to be 90 yrs old.

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    1. You've met my nana! Only for her it saw black velvet, bacon, and Pall Malls. She died at 94. But she was an active farmer, so maybe that made up for the rest.

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  18. She sounds like a regular Stepford Wife.

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  19. You've painted such a vibrant image of this character. Well done!

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  20. Haha! Excellent! She does sound like a Stepford Wife.

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  21. Maybe it's just me but this was creepy. :) I guess it's the Stepford Wife thing.

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  22. I hope that Jan got to let her hair down a few times during her life even if those times weren't recorded.

    I'm scared to think of what .8 of a child would look like!

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  23. How does Jan do it all is my question...??? Yes, what is .8 of a child? It sort of sounds sad to me. :(

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    1. It is, very sad. I picked the number of children from the 2010 US census for the average number of children per household. I thought it would be fitting for Jan to be average.

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  24. This is a pure horrow story! Shoot her now!

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    1. I know! Talk about a sheep going to the slaughter!

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  25. You really know how to write a character profile. Great writing!

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    1. Thank you. I just got back from your site. I can't wait to hear the rest of your story!

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  26. Great word and intriguing description!

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