Joel has been deceived. Rachel’s arrogance makes her blind. Neither fathoms the threat that Newstead, an exclusive prep school for boys in Weston, Vermont may pose. When are you just too much of a liability to be kept alive? Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t out to get you.
Yes it is the same thing that is posted on the left of my blog. (In case you thought you were seeing double.)
I'm stopping in for a-z, but I thought I'd comment on your pitch.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about Rachel and her connection to the boy's school. I really like the last two sentences.
I love your pitch. It creates a great atmosphere. But it's too long. The contest states it has to be a twitter pitch, which means no more than 140 characters. SUPER hard, I know, but good luck!
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is a great pitch, but you do have to cut it, including spaces, which I had to figure out LOL. I think you can use osme of the elements you have here : )
ReplyDeleteMelanie, it's not exactly the same as the pitch in your side bar. If you had to cut it for character count I understand. If not, I really love the pitch in your sidebar.
ReplyDeletebethfred.com
P.S. I'm sticking around to follow.
Will check back tomorrow to see if you have a 140 character pitch. : )
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