Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Do the thing that scares you blogfest

Today I'm participating in the Do The Thing That Scares You blogfest hosted by Mila Ferrera, author of Spiral. This book sounds amazing. I'm adding it to my TBR pile, so maybe you'll be reading a review of it later on this blog.

Probably the thing that scares me the most is writing. You see, I'm not a writer, never have been. I'm a wife, a mother, a nurse. It's what I went to school for, the nursing part at least. I was content. So why enter this jungle gym full of torture chambers we call the writing world? Why step out on that slippery slope of rejection notices, bad reviews, and every other kind of humbling experiences?

Some days I still ask myself that question.

I love the writing part; the sitting quietly in my room with my characters; nothing scary there. It was when I took the step of letting other people read what I wrote that things turned to the horrifying. Not that people hated it or were mean, or anything, it's just very difficult bearing your soul like that. Because to me that's what writing really is, a revealing of the soul. And it only got worse from there. I actually had to sell myself and my story to other people. I still do. And I still hate it. Part of me wishes I'd kept the story all to myself, to the privacy in my room, but that feels almost cowardly.

So I put myself out there. Every day, each time I have to sit at a signing table and watch people do there best not to make eye contact I feel the rumblings of what I really fear. Not the rejection, or even failure. I fear exposure. But we all know what they say: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.