Today I'm participating in the Do The Thing That Scares You blogfest hosted by Mila Ferrera, author of Spiral. This book sounds amazing. I'm adding it to my TBR pile, so maybe you'll be reading a review of it later on this blog.
Probably the thing that scares me the most is writing. You see, I'm not a writer, never have been. I'm a wife, a mother, a nurse. It's what I went to school for, the nursing part at least. I was content. So why enter this jungle gym full of torture chambers we call the writing world? Why step out on that slippery slope of rejection notices, bad reviews, and every other kind of humbling experiences?
Some days I still ask myself that question.
I love the writing part; the sitting quietly in my room with my characters; nothing scary there. It was when I took the step of letting other people read what I wrote that things turned to the horrifying. Not that people hated it or were mean, or anything, it's just very difficult bearing your soul like that. Because to me that's what writing really is, a revealing of the soul. And it only got worse from there. I actually had to sell myself and my story to other people. I still do. And I still hate it. Part of me wishes I'd kept the story all to myself, to the privacy in my room, but that feels almost cowardly.
So I put myself out there. Every day, each time I have to sit at a signing table and watch people do there best not to make eye contact I feel the rumblings of what I really fear. Not the rejection, or even failure. I fear exposure. But we all know what they say: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Writing scares me too, especially the part when we put our stuff out there. I feel so vulnerable. But we will get stronger... and grow as a result.
ReplyDeleteSo a toast to being scared, vulnerable... and growing from strength to strength...
Writer In Transit
Fearing exposure. That makes sense. I never wanted to be a writer either and I wasn't even online when I signed my first book contract.
ReplyDeleteSounds like our fears are very much the same! But I think we'd regret it if we didn't try, right? Thanks for participating in the blogfest, Melanie!
ReplyDeleteHi Melanie! I tried following you but something must be wrong with blogger... keeps giving me an error. I'll check back later.
ReplyDeleteBut i know what you mean. Exposure makes us vulnerable, but it also helps us grow and connects us with people who appreciate our work. That's what it's all about anyway right--finding readers for our stories? That feeling of having a reader connect with our stories is the most gratifying feeling. Much like having your kid tell you they love you just because. Makes it all worth it. :)
Gah! I know just how you feel. I was so scared of people finding out what I wrote. It got easier for me after 6-7 years, but it was scary at first.
ReplyDeleteLetting people read my writing was scary for me too. I'm still a little frightened when handing over my story and asking someone to read it and "tell me what you think." It does get easier, but its still scary.
ReplyDelete......dhole
I am still a bit chicken when it comes to sharing my work. But I force myself to do it. At least now, I don't want to go throw up when I do it. Sharing my writing has never been my strong suit either. And yet, being a writer is all I've ever wanted to be!
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