Today is the
first Wednesday of the month, which makes it ISWG time. Thanks again to Alex
Cavanaugh and friends for hosting this. If you haven’t checked out the ISWG
site yet, you should. It’s full of all kinds of writerly-type advice. You can find it here
I’ve been
forced to get over one of my biggest insecurities this month. I tend to care
way too much about what people think of me, and that’s not a good thing. Not in
writing, and certainly not in life. This particular lesson came in the form of
a rally I went to a little over a week ago. It was for a political cause I feel
very passionately about. As with most things, there were two sides to this argument.
I don’t think I’ve ever been told to f**k off so many times before. The people
on the other side hated me, just for being there. It was a very eye-opening
experience, and not just about politics. It opened my eyes to people, too. I
realized not everyone is going to like my books because my books and the things
I write are offensive to some people because life is sometimes offensive and I
don’t try to skirt around life. And that’s okay. Sometimes you have to stand
there and hold up your sign (books) and get ready to be told to f**k off.
Have you been forced to get over any insecurities recently?
I have the same problem as far as caring way too much what people think of me. Something I'm trying to get over but I'm not there yet. You have the right attitude here!
ReplyDeleteHave to say I don't know why some people have to be so hostile and crass. You can disagree with someone without telling them to f*ck off!
I think I've been learning that same lesson. Also, people kind of suck.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was a tough rally.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone will get it or agree, and that's all right. We just have to find the ones that will get it.
It's hard not to take it personal when they don't like our books, but we just have to keep looking for those who will.
ReplyDeleteIt's an important lesson that writers have to learn; they're not going to please everyone. Everyone has different tastes, so it really is impossible to please them all.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same, although my day job has toughened me up quite a bit. Respect for going to the rally in the first place though. I've done one before and wad never spoken to like that.
ReplyDeleteWow! What an amazing post! I think if I had been at that rally I would've been scared and then slowly gotten the courage to yell "F**k off" right back. ;) While writers shouldn't do that to the readers/critics who don't like their books, we can definitely do it within the privacy of our homes. :P
ReplyDeleteA very open and frank discussion of a writer's insecurities. The profanity throwers need to consider more about the work and its message, rather than chop it to pieces.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
I'm dealing with the same sort of problem. I have become more comfortable with not caring about what people think of me but it's still hard to turn it off when you're really putting yourself out there.
ReplyDeleteIt took me to about book 4 in the Backworlds to get over it. I still sort of care... how can we not? But my skin is much thicker than it used to be... nowhere as thick as it needs to be.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a nasty rally. Polite discourse seems a lost art in this country.
ReplyDeleteI've had to deal with the insecurity that comes with starting a book, but at least I got past it quickly. But you're right. An author whose work I enjoy, John Scalzi, said there's no such thing as a book that everyone likes, and that's something we writers always have to remember.
ReplyDeleteIt is very true that no one can please everyone. I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience at the rally. Some people seem to be naturally rude without reason. I try to remember that everyone has an opinion and that's okay But they're only one person. His/her opinion doesn't have to carry the weight of the world on it.
ReplyDeleteHow sad, Melanie, that people have to resort to such vulgarity. We all have a right to our opinions. As for writing about REAL issues. I think that's great! Life has many flaws and we as writers must express these issues.
ReplyDeleteI know once my book get published, it will get a lot of heat because it shows off the military in a negative life, only because the mc's dad is a marine. He's brutal, vile, and abusive.AND an alcoholic, like so many in the armed forces. I've done the research.... it's fact.
So I'll have to be prepared for it when the time comes.
Wow what an intense thing to go through. Well done for making it through that week and holding it together. I am sure you came out stronger and better for it. I have the same fear and I do worry that people will just be mean about it just because they can be. One lesson I have to remember is not to take it personally. Their opinion is a reflection of them and not of me.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your book!
Chanzie @ Mean Who You Are.
Melanie...I apologize for posting this here, but I didn't see an email for you here. I thought I would let you know that my blog review of Blackbird was posted this evening. Hopefully you like what you read. Thanks again for a great book! Elle @ Erratic Project Junkie
ReplyDeleteI steer pretty clear of rally's for just that reason. Too many extremes. I'm one who often see's some reason on each side of the topic; but the rally's the far extremes bother me. I like though how you equate it to your writing and to daily life. I have opinions, as do most of us but don't understand why folks rally. It never changes anyone's mind pro or con, and mop mentality is such an ugly thing...people get carried away and stuff just seems to happen.
ReplyDeleteSandy at Traveling Suitcase
Road tripping through a-z
I can definitely relate to caring way too much about what people think of me. It can put me in a tailspin for weeks when people say something negative or cruel. I have deleted blogs because of troll comments.
ReplyDeleteMy Insecure Writer Whinge is at The Cheese Whines.