Monday, June 10, 2013

A Thorn


Hello everyone, for the first time in what feels like forever, this will be a “typical” week, both on this blog and in my life. Funny how rare typical is-isn’t it?

Today I will be posting a short story, Wednesday will be a regular post, and Friday will be my review of How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now! by L. Diane Wolfe.


A Thorn

Daniel, my new boyfriend, is perfect. We’ve only been out a few times, but I know he’s The One. He works for his dad at a very lucrative business and being an only child, I can only assume he’ll take it over one day. Then it will be us in that big mansion on the hill, us in the Beemer. But, lest you think I’m a money-driven-diva, let me take this opportunity to say that it isn’t only his future prospects that make him perfect, it’s him, too. He’s tall, maybe six one or so, and takes really good care of himself. His hair is just the right color and just the right length, like I said; perfect.

In fact, tonight he’s taking me out to meet some of his friends, so he must be as serious about me as I am about him.

He pulls up to my house in his six year old Chevy Cobalt.

I groan. His father has so many cars; why does he insist on driving that one?

He walks up to my house with a big smile on his face and that’s when I see it. He’s cut his hair. And not just a little. He’s shaved it off.

I open my door. “Daniel, good to see you,” I say, looking past him.

“It’s good to see you, too,” he says warmly, handing me a rose he’s picked from one of my bushes.

I grab it and of course my finger gets jabbed with a stupid thorn.

“What happened to your hair?” I ask, finally letting myself look at him.

He looks surprised. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? One of my friends is getting Chemo, so all the rest of us shaved our heads so he won’t feel so out of place.”

“Great. So you’re telling me all of you are going to look like that?”

His head tips to the side, as he looks at me.  A slow smile spreads across his face. “Why-you want to do it, too? I’ve got the clippers in my car,” he says, pulling on my hand.

I yank my hand back and we both get splattered with the drops of blood from the hole the thorn has left.

“No. Thanks,” I say. “Actually, maybe I’ll just stay home.”

He smiles bigger. “Maybe you should.”

16 comments:

  1. But he shaved his head for a good cause.

    What a surprise! I'm looking forward to your review on Friday. (At least I hope I am. LOL)

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  2. Not the kind of character we are used to in fiction. Looking forward to reading more of you.

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  3. I agree with the others. He's better off without her.

    Nice work!

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  4. Very true to life though! Visiting on the followers bloghop!

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  5. Great post. She says she's not superficial but she is and he proved it.

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  6. Wow, she came off as... I'll be nice. lol Great story though. A happy Monday to you, Melanie. Yeah, I get how typical can become scarce.

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  7. She says she's not superficial, and in the very next sentence tells us how superficial she is. Not a likeable character, but true to life (at least some people I know).

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  8. I think it's a great character to read because she's in denial and that can be fascinating. Watching someone think one way, but act in another one, without acknowledging it, is kind of cool if it's written well. There's something fascinating about it!

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  9. This is from the POV of the shallow little brat, which gave the conflict a peculiar sort of tension.

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  10. Enjoyed your writing very much!! Going to be really good!! Joined your page too!

    sandysanderellasmusings.blogspot.com

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  11. Nice. *clapping* This is the kind of character you hope will grow in future episodes. Looking forward to your regular schedule. I'm doing the three a week for the first time in my life, and whew! It's busy. I might have to shrink back to my two-day schedule, so kudos to you!

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  12. Nice. I see all sorts of potential for growth. (after I slap her and shave her head, though.) hee hee.

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  13. Hi there, Melanie! It's nice to meet you! I'm from the blog hop as well. Nice piece you've shared with us; the narrator is kind of a jerk, to say the least. But I think as readers we sort of expect MCs to be protagonists or at least likable, so this was a refreshing point of view to read from.

    By the way, I like your blog layout; it's a pretty design! Hope you're having a wonderful week!

    ~Wendy Lu

    The Red Angel

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