IWSG: March 2018

It’s IWSG time again. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on. When it comes to insecurity, I have a big one: Marketing.

There’s not much more in the world that makes my stomach churn than marketing. I hate it. I know hate’s a strong word, but it’s true. I HATE marketing. I long for the days when writers lived in shacks and slipped their manuscripts into random mailboxes. It’s not that I’m shy. I’m not. I’m actually very social. It’s that I hate talking up my work. I think it should speak for itself. I know I’m a good writer—but that doesn’t mean I need to or should have to tell people that. It wasn’t until recently that I attempted to market at all. Those of you who follow this blog can attest to that—my posts are random at best. But I’ve finally decided I have to, no matter how much I hate it. Decided isn’t actually the right word. I’m being pushed into it. God has had just about enough of my waffling and has drawn a line in the sand. I am to obey or else (I really don’t want to know what the or else is). He’s led me this far, I guess it’s time to dive in. Pray for me.

IWSG: February 2018

Welcome. It's the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this thing on. When I was thinking about what to post, a conversation came to mind that I had with one of my illustrators. I asked the question. THE QUESTION. Are you willing to speak before a group? She very nicely, but firmly said, "No". I thought I understood. Who likes to speak in front of other people? But it turns out I was wrong, she didn't mean that, at least not ONLY that. She followed her no with a very insightful thought--isn't it better this way? I considered it, and I must say, I have to agree. Isn't it better that we as artists maintain some sense of mystery? Would we be so looked-up-to if the general public knew that we're not only like everyone else, in some ways we're a little worse? Not worst in a bad way, but in a socially-awkward kind of way. Would that young eight-year-old look bright-eyed up at you when your skirt was tucked in your underpants? Probably not. Would that teenager care about a word you wrote if they knew exactly how much of a dork you were? Again, no. Today I'm going to do a reading in my son's classroom. And he's howling the whole way to school. He knows how much of a dork I am. He knows I'll (probably) embarrass him. I told him not to worry. I've checked my skirt. It's officially panty-free. 

IWSG--12/6/17

Welcome. It’s the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on. For those of you who don’t know, IWSG stands for Insecure Writer’s Support Group—a monthly online gathering for posting about this crazy thing called writing. Please join us. 

For me it’s a weird time of year—just coming off the hectic schedule of NaNo, where for the first time ever I failed to meet the 50,000 word count—turns out it’s not a good idea to go away for a week when you’re supposed to be pushing out almost 2,000 words per day. Now it’s December, where I’m crazy busy for a whole different reason. Christmas is coming and I’m hosting this year and my husband and I thought now would be a good time to gut out our whole kitchen. Maybe a part of me really does like the time crunch. Hopefully this turns out better than NaNo. I’ve got seventeen people expecting a meal from that kitchen in a less than a month. Right now there’s no working faucet and just drywall on the walls. Pray for me. Seriously. Right now. 

Anyhow…

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been a psychiatric nurse for years and one of the groups I lead over and over is on relaxation—closing your eyes and deep breathing, counting to ten, that sort of stuff. It’s funny how you forget to apply what you teach to yourself, at least I do. So this month I’m going to deep breath. I’m going to count to ten. I’m going to finish the book I started for NaNo, even if it takes me three months to do it instead of one. I’m going to enjoy my Christmas gathering, which will probably end with all of us washing the dishes in the bathroom sink.

Until then--

Mel

IWSG: November 2017, Writing Lesson Number Three

IWSG: June 2017

Welcome. It’s IWSG time again. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on each month. If you’d like to join us, you can sign up here.

The insecurity I’m focusing on this month isn’t so much about good things or bad things, it’s more about yes vs. no. I used to be so good at only saying yes to things I really wanted to do. That mentality freed up so much time. But now I’m in a strange place. There are so many good things to say yes to. Yes to kid's summer soccer camp, because of course they’ll want to do that, right? And yes to swimming lessons--heaven forbid they drown—and yes to another animal (or two)—they’re so cute—who could say no? And yes, yes, yes.

And now my life is too full to breathe.

This happens every once in a while to me and I have to sit down and wipe the slate clean and start over, which is hard. It would’ve been easier to say “No” in the first place. How do you tell someone you changed your mind about that adorable lamb they’re holding onto for you? Okay, maybe I’ll get the lamb. But then something else has to go. Do you see my dilemma? How do you choose between so many “good” things?

Help!

 

 

IWSG; February 2017

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on each month. For those of you who don’t know, IWSG stands for Insecure Writer’s Support Group, an online community of writers supporting each other through and in this crazy work we chose to do.

This month my insecurity is about control, or lack of it.  My husband is training to run a marathon. He’s already run a half, and while He’s always been very athletic and in really good shape, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea. He’s forty-six. Now I know that’s still relatively young, but I had an uncle who died of unexpected heart failure at forty-six, and I just can’t shake the worries that come along with having lost someone I love so young. But I’m not the kind of wife to tell her husband what he can and cannot do, so I just supported him the best I could, and let the worries fester. Last night my husband was out on a run, nothing crazy, maybe four miles, and I got the phone call. Thankfully, it was from him and not an ambulance, and thankfully it was his knee and not his heart. As I helped him hobble to the car, dreams and plans shattered in an instant, I realized how little any of us can plan for anything. We have no idea what’s going to happen today or tomorrow because none of us in control. Sobering thought. And you know what? That’s okay. Because maybe my husband’s blown-out knee might have saved us from something much graver later on. What does this have to do with my insecurities as a writer? Nothing. Everything. Ask yourself this: How can we feel secure about anything when we have control over nothing? I guess that’s where faith and trust come in.

What are you trusting in?

IWSG: January 2017

Hello everyone. Today’s the first Wednesday of the month, which makes it IWSG time. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on. For those of you new to this concept, IWSG stands for Insecure Writer’s Support Group, and it’s just what it sounds like, a support group for writers. And all writers are insecure; I don’t care what they tell you. We all cringe a little when we read a bad review, all stare at a blank screen from time to time, wondering if “it” has left us.

Neither of those are my issue this month, although I have plenty experience with both. This month I’m struggling with something completely new: with the thought of being done as a writer. Not done, done in the sense of the word, as in I will never write again, more like an honest evaluation thing. For the last two years I’ve only written shorter pieces. I’ve done a few anthologies and a lot of flash, a couple children’s pieces, but that’s about it. I haven’t worked on a full length novel in over two years, and while I do have some ideas floating around (that middle grade fantasy still haunts me), I don’t have any plans to start plugging away at them in the near future. I’ve got other things on my plate. Important things. Things I am purposely choosing. Is this what it feels like to be done?  Has anyone else out there been at this place before?

IWSG: December

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on each month. It’s a safe place to be authentic and vulnerable in regards to this crazy thing called writing.

Usually writing takes a major backseat for me in December. In a typical year I’ve just completed NaNo, therefore am completely burnt out, but it’s more than that. For our family, all of December is Christmas. We go caroling, make cookies, decorate like crazy; the list goes on and on. And while that part is still true this year, for the first time in six years I did not participate in NaNo. I still feel fresh and excited when it comes to this whole writing thing. Not that I’m working on a project, personally. Producing and publishing Ubooks has taken and will take up most of my time. It’s more a wanting to write, an excitement about it. I’ve had an idea for a middle grade story for a long time now. The story is there, but the main character isn’t. I’ve tried just about everything, but I can’t quite get the make-up of who this person should be. Just recently I took a job on a children’s psychiatric unit—hopefully I’ll find some inspiration there.

How are your projects going? Ever been stuck like me?  

IWSG: Choices

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on. I’m actually writing this post on Sunday, because I will be out of town at a conference this week (Disney World!!!); which makes my insecurity for this month alarmingly clear: Can I juggle it all? While I’m at a conference for one of my jobs (yes, I have several) my kids are starting school for the first time. Ever. And I’m going to miss it—backpacks and lunch boxes, first day of school cookies and milk –and they’re going to miss me.

My insecurity: I can’t be everywhere and everything. I have to choose. And sometimes choosing is hard. I just hope I make the right choices.

How about you—what are you feeling insecure about this month?

 

IWSG

 

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, which makes it IWSG time, thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on every month. If you’d like to join in the fun, you can sign up here.

This month I’m dealing with a fresh insecurity. My marketing director has determined the target population for my books are females ages fourteen to twenty-four, which is news to me, since I wrote them for boys/men ages whatever. Since she made that determination, she has had me set up an Instagram account to reach that audience.

Instagram.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I get it. I’m a visual person—there’s all sorts of inspiration in pictures. But my pictures? I’m not so sure. You see, I’m sort of a strange breed. I have a large garden where I’m trying to grow most of the fruit/veggies we eat fresh in the summer, canned/frozen for the rest of the year. There’s the orchard we planted, and oh, yeah, woods behind the house where I gather wild cherries/black raspberries. And did I mention the chickens? And the dairy sheep I’m getting next month? I mentioned this to my marketing director who hemmed and hawed and said, “Yeah…about that…you may want to tone that down a bit.”

 So that’s where I’m at. I’m supposed to use Instagram to show people who I really am, but unfortunately those people who can relate to who I really am have been dead for a hundred years.

I kid you not. They put up a sign for a spinning class at my work and there was a whole five minutes where I thought they were talking about wool and yarn.  Any suggestions?

And, being Wednesday, it’s also time for this week’s *Ubook installments. I’m also converting Erron to this format, so I’m including that one as well. Enjoy.

 

The Newstead Project, Chapter Eight:

 

The Newstead Project, Chapter Six, Narrated by Nathan Moran:

 

 

Erron, Chapter One:



 

*A Ubook is a patent pending book format where the book is a video set at reading speed and enhanced with music.

IWSG, B is for Basement

As the first Wednesday of the month, this is Insecure Writer’s Support Group day as well as April’s A to Z. In respect of your time, I promise I’ll keep it brief. Right now I’m really not feeling insecure about anything. Not that I’m suddenly an Amazon bestseller, I’m not. It’s more that I’ve decided I love the books I write. I love the story, love the characters, and sometimes that’s enough.

For this year’s A to Z, I will be doing a collection of flash fiction featuring Steven, the MC from Blackbird, from right before he came to Newstead through his first year there.  

B is for Basement

I’ve always been real good at waking up to the slightest sound, which has gotten me out of my fair share of scrapes over the years. This morning is no different.

My eyes open just as Jason’s getting ready to come down, so by the time he opens the basement door, I’m already dressed with my backpack slung over my shoulder.

He flinches slightly, seeing me at the foot of the stairs. For some reason seeing me there always surprises him. “Steven--good--you’re up. It’s time.”

I nod. Time. Time for me to get the hell out of his house before his mom gets home.

“See you in school,” I call on my way out.

I am giving out review copies of Blackbird through Story Cartel, in exchange for Amazon Reviews (And blog reviews would be great, too) before it’s official release date on May 1^st. Just a note—this story is very dark, so read with caution.  You can get your copy here  Also, Story Cartel is doing a big giveaway of its own this month, so signing up for a review of any book featured there puts your name in that pot.

Don't forget to sign up for my A to Z Rafflecopter :)

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IWSG

What is my insecurity this month? Knowing when to let go.
I am a planner. I like to think I can sit down and come up with a to-do list and that's that. I can hear all of you laughing right now. I can hear God laughing, too.

I found an old journal of mine and had the chance to read through it because (cough) my plans for this week ended up changing and I had some extra time on my hands. It was from fourteen years ago when I was in the very beginning of my battle with infertility. I had plans. Big ones. But you know what? Not one of my plans worked out the way I wanted them to. And now, fourteen years later, I can only be thankful. Because God's plans were better.

How about you--has your life worked out the way you planned?