Today is the first Wednesday of the month, making it IWSG time Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts for putting this on each month. For those of you who don’t know, IWSG stands for Insecure Writer’s Support Group, an online community of writers supporting each other through and in this crazy work we chose to do.
This month my insecurity is about control, or lack of it. My husband is training to run a marathon. He’s already run a half, and while He’s always been very athletic and in really good shape, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea. He’s forty-six. Now I know that’s still relatively young, but I had an uncle who died of unexpected heart failure at forty-six, and I just can’t shake the worries that come along with having lost someone I love so young. But I’m not the kind of wife to tell her husband what he can and cannot do, so I just supported him the best I could, and let the worries fester. Last night my husband was out on a run, nothing crazy, maybe four miles, and I got the phone call. Thankfully, it was from him and not an ambulance, and thankfully it was his knee and not his heart. As I helped him hobble to the car, dreams and plans shattered in an instant, I realized how little any of us can plan for anything. We have no idea what’s going to happen today or tomorrow because none of us in control. Sobering thought. And you know what? That’s okay. Because maybe my husband’s blown-out knee might have saved us from something much graver later on. What does this have to do with my insecurities as a writer? Nothing. Everything. Ask yourself this: How can we feel secure about anything when we have control over nothing? I guess that’s where faith and trust come in.
What are you trusting in?