Birthdays and other announcements

Today is my daughter’s sixth birthday.

It’s so much fun watching her go up to perfect strangers and announce her big news. They pacify her, telling her happy birthday; some sincerely, some not so much.

It’s the same way when I tell people I’m writing. Each time I say the words I cringe, wondering if I said too much.  

But I said it, it’s out there, and I sit back and wait for the responses. Some people are genuinely happy. Others look at me incredulously like Who do you think you are, writing a book? Others just try to pacify me.

It’s especially hard, because I’ve thought all of those things myself. Who do I think I am? Then I try to pacify myself, and if it’s a good day I’ll end up just feeling content in what I’m doing.

Because it’s not about them, or me; it’s about doing what God created you to do.

Just me.

I’m not very trendy. I just like what I like and get around to reading what I want, not when it comes out, but when I feel like it.

I didn’t realize that about myself until recently. My daughter was reading a book that is the first in a trilogy, which meant that the next book wasn’t coming out for over a year. She spent some time venting her frustration. That was when I realized that has never happened to me.

I read all four Twilight books for the first time in a week. Hunger Games, same thing. And now I just got done reading all of the Shiver books.

There has never been a time when I waited in line outside of a bookstore, eagerly waiting for a sequel.

I’m telling you this because I’ve decided to do some book reviews on this blog and this is my way of excusing how dated they’ll be.

Until then,

melanie

Resolutions

My family and I just got back from camp. We go every year to Camp Pioneer, a beautiful place right on Lake Erie. It’s kind of like New Year’s Eve for me. I mean the resolutions, not necessarily the party. At some point every year I make it to the beach for some alone time and think about my life; where it’s going, where I’ve been. And I make some hard decisions.

This year I thought a lot about my role as a wife and mother, and my career. It was on the shores of Lake Erie that I decided I don’t want to be a nurse anymore. I love being a nurse, always have, but it just feels like it’s time to be a writer, not just play at it.

And I decided the difference between being a good mother and a bad one was talking with my children, instead of at them and I need to do that more.

My husband?  I acknowledged my mistakes, and his. And I thanked God that I have David in my life and I am looking forward to more time with him this year.

But most of all I saw the parts of my life that I had attempted to do my own way and they sucked. So this year it’s all His; the good, the bad, the ugly.

I can’t to see how it turns out.